I guess I've always been a bit old for my age. I distinctly remember my dad telling me when I was younger that he never liked talking to me in the typical condescending way 'grown-ups' do with children, and preferred to speak to me as he would any adult. I'm pretty thankful for that. Despite the outward appearance of an overgrown 9 year old (often with pigtails and all) I do like to think of myself as being a bit further ahead than a few of my peers. Is that pretentious? Should I care? Of course the term 'old-soul' is thrown around to the extent of being painful to hear, but I do have many tendencies often associated with an elderly lady. Heck let's not even pigeon-hole with genders, I once stood waiting for a bus wearing a scarily similar outfit to the old man I shared the shelter with. Needless to say he was a rather dapper gentleman. But it also looked like we were both members of the same country club.
Matching tweed-style blazers aside, I embrace my aged qualities. Now I'm a fully-fledged and sorry excuse for 'full-time' University Student, I spend a lot of time visiting my gran who conveniently resides in the midst of student flats. Well I say convenient, safe to say she's not a fan of living underneath "THOSE (ANY FOUR LETTER WORD WITH AN -ING) STUDENTS GET A JOB THE BLOODY NOISE THEY MAKE etc etc", and the agreeable situation is purely beneficial for my own napping schedules. Along with being almost constantly equipped with a handful of Werthers Originals and sharing a (slightly less intense) dislike of students, spending time with my dearest Grandmother has certainly increased my already present resemblance to a 70 year old. One who moisturises incredibly well..
I've probably spent more time after lectures watching Countdown than I have drinking with a raucous bunch, and in fact cancelled far too many planned nights out at the last minute due to being more than comfortable with my grans biscuit drawer and several mugs of tea. I'm not saying I'd prefer a handful of Custard Creams over a cocktail every night, but there are certainly times when the latter just seems far too much of an effort.
I get that this suddenly popular novelty of being a cat lady with 'granny jumpers' who enjoys a vat or two of tea every evening is just your typical white teen girl Instagram user these days, but I am intrigued as to why so many of us are content with not following the crowd and succumbing to the sloppy neon attraction of making the most of our Youth and claiming the night as our own. Is it a deliberate choice? Or is it just that, as I assume the case is for myself, we've been uninvited and unincluded in these activities for so long that we've become accustomed to simply spending time on our own in our floral nighties? I'm possibly biased in the opinion but I do think it's a valuable trait to have. Sure being a recluse may not exactly assure others that you're fully committed to the friendships you share, and it can certainly be an issue if you're like me and have a pretty severe case of FOMO, but the ability to spend time with yourself is one to treasure. The ability to settle down on a Wednesday evening in a reindeer onesie poised and ready to watch the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show while knitting a massive scarf and know you are perfectly content with your quiet little life is something to be cherished.
I can't help but feel sorry for individuals who can even manage to be 'bored' in this day and age, or find they have to constantly beg a stranger from their friend list to 'pop up n chat plz'. I'm not saying we should all be independent mammals who are never allowed to feel lonely or unlively, but don't wallow in it. Don't dwell on what or who you are without, and take full advantage of what you do have. You are born alone and you will die alone, so you might as well spend some time getting to know that wonderful self you will spend the rest of your life with.
I take two sugars, me. Thanks, me.
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